What do you do when a bird's waste land on your head? Thank God that elephants don't fly^^

new

2009-03-19T10:44:00.002+08:00

"DO NOT remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Isaiah 43:18-19

Moses, and that Moses

2009-01-22T01:47:00.006+08:00

2008 is woohoo~, a very "good" year for me. Looking back, just wondered what exactly have I acheived. Spiritually I've grown, character wise I've changed. But 2008 is really not good enough. There must be something more.

Yes, there must be something more. 2008, I'm still not wise in my time and money, still loves to procrastinate, still not disciplined in various aspects of my life.

School life is stressful. I'm very much affected by the "knifes" flying in class. I'm furious when people just...just CMI, though sometimes it's really my own folly. Many times I stumbled. And I found that I'm not as cheerful, not as bold, not as full of faith as before.

Recently I've been looking at the life of Moses. Yes, that Moses who split the Red Sea, not the food critic who split the Red Lobster.

Moses is a much talked about character, he is a hero of faith. He was the one who led the Israelites out of Egypt, he was the one who was so close to God that he saw His back.

Hebrews 11:24-28
24 It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.
25 He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.
26 He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward.
27 It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.
28 It was by faith that Moses commanded the people of Israel to keep the Passover and to sprinkle blood on the doorposts so that the angel of death would not kill their firstborn sons.

But...

Yes, Moses was as such. But as I begin to read Exodus, Holy Spirit just began to pound on in, hard.

Exodus 2:11-15
11 Many years later, when Moses had grown up, he went out to visit his own people, the Hebrews, and he saw how hard they were forced to work. During his visit, he saw an Egyptian beating one of his fellow Hebrews.
12 After looking in all directions to make sure no one was watching, Moses killed the Egyptian and hid the body in the sand.
13 The next day, when Moses went out to visit his people again, he saw two Hebrew men fighting. “Why are you beating up your friend?” Moses said to the one who had started the fight.
14 The man replied, “Who appointed you to be our prince and judge? Are you going to kill me as you killed that Egyptian yesterday?” Then Moses was afraid, thinking, “Everyone knows what I did.”
15 And sure enough, Pharaoh heard what had happened, and he tried to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in the land of Midian. When Moses arrived in Midian, he sat down beside a well.

In the days of Moses, Pharaoh is government, government is Pharaoh. Law is Pharaoh, Pharaoh is law. Moses killed 2 people. Under the rule of Pharaoh, Moses had committed a crime! He is a murderer! It is only after Moses saw that burning bush, that he began to have a intimate relationship with God. One touch from heaven and our lives are never the same again.

The truth is, the world judges, hurts and condemns, but God forgives, heals and accept. Many times I felt too condemned to walk on, to breakthrough, to shine. But He always convince me otherwise. He forgave, healed and accepted Moses, so will He forgive, heal and accept you and I. When you're not faithful, He is always faithful.

Recharged for
2009

2008-11-26T01:03:00.003+08:00

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's night time, it's the only place I can shout ^^
Projects are killing me!
I need to break, seriously, break this shell.

This season...Son

2008-10-13T00:19:00.005+08:00

oh my oh my~ i should really go and cut my hair....

10 Great Reasons to cut hair

1) Due to global warming, Singapore is now such a hot country...and that thick bush on my head traps the heat and makes me perspire.

2) My parents like to buy "Buy 2 get 1 free" shampoo, normally only I'll go and get some proper ones. Shorter hair = lesser shampoo being used = shampoo last long = save money.

3) "Men without vision shall perish". My long hair blocks my sight!~ When I walk, 60% of the time my hand is "holding" up my hair so that I can see clearly what's ahead.

4) When I drink soup, my hair "drinks" with me :-)

5) I don't want my face to be slammed by basketball because of blocked sight.

6) Long hair tickles my face ^^

7) There are still 2 tubs and 2 tubes of wax, 2 tubes of gel waiting to be used. No point using them now, they can't support my long hair.

8) They say my hair is untidy. Sometimes I agree with them.

9) Cliff says my hair looks ok, so does Joshua and the other guy, I think so too. But Yong Xiu says not nice! Michelle ask me go cut my hair~ so does Rena and Jasmine -.-"

10) Ok, here's a sequel to "thank you lord". When I work night shift last night, an uncle came in and say "Xiao Jie (lady), still got sell Straits Time?"......I was stunned, so was he...

Went for Cliff's discipleship just now. I thought I know something, but the truth is that I really know nothing.

Holy Spirit show me and guide me.

look left, look right, look left again, no car den can cross the road......

2008-09-25T13:00:00.003+08:00

long long time ago......

xy: lao ba~ i also want to drive car!
dad: oh~ sure sure (meaning wait long long)
xy: but learn drive car need how much arhz?
dad: oh, last time i learn around $xxxxx
xy: wah! so ex arhz...aiyahz, doesn't matter lahz, your gonna pay anyway
dad: YOU WAIT LONG LONG!

yesterday......

dad: u free today or not? going out again arhz?
me: no arhz, u ask me stay home teach them(my brothers) for thier exam mahz
dad: quick, go eat and get changed, i bring you go register to learn driving
me: -.-" wah~ ok lohz

ok, actually i wanted to go register myself but thank God i didn't.....(coz it caused around $160++ for the registration+books+basic theory test)
amazingly when they do the test for colour defeciency to determine eligibility for driving, i passed ^_^

owned

2008-08-22T22:32:00.003+08:00

woo~ my goodness, it can be fun to be owned in dota, but not in exam.
had my biomedical physics exam 2day....man.....it is literally "mutated" maths
lahz!~...i walked in with confidence and walked out drained. all the hardest qns from past year papers came out this year... -.-" i never like maths, besides using it for counting my money, i really don't like it.

when i walked out the exam hall, i was still in a state of "shock" -.-" ....should go to chua chu kang rite away preparing something, but instead i went home, took my guitar and prayed...God is good :) even if i did not do as well as i've expected, i'll still love Him, serve Him.

Daniel 3:17-18
17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. 18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”

Woo~! 1st paper "slaughtered", 3 more to go~ it dosen't matter how i started, it's how i end it. Cliff taught us in men's discipleship that we should be a good finisher. yes, i'm still casting my eyes upon GPA 3.

anyway, should be able to get a B at least for biophysics...
woo~ mon is my engineering maths exam....wah....so exciting....-.-"

^_^ SHOUTING OUT LOUD TO THE GOD WE SERVE

2008-08-11T13:40:00.003+08:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...thank God i still know what is a blog. Had an early Sabbath ^^ suppose to have it on fri but i'm not feeling well and did not went to sch so...i came to blog^^

Man, this semester is so hectic, stressful and chaotic. Completed 4 projects and 2 more due on wed. After that i'm a free man once again~ erm no, still have my main exam -.-" Interesting fact about myself i've noticed, there is never 1 project in my life, and i mean it when i say 'never', that i completed without rushing through(sorry to my project mates who always got a heart attack when project due dates are near ^^), doing last minute work. Yeah, i squeezed projects which people spent weeks to do into a few days....^^ God gave me grace everytime, but I don't want to take advantage of my Dad. It's time for a change man...

Life is tough, but God is good. Exam's coming soon, and i'm excited, coz i'm gonna break through GPA 2.75, I want a GPA of 3.

The past few weeks, or i should say, months, had been amazing. There are ups and downs, and the seas are always rough. But i thank God, my character is being moulded, my spirit man is strengthened. Life's only life when there are challenges. I'm living, and not just existing ^_^

Father I pray that I'll know you more and more,
as I take a step towards you God, draw closer to me,
let me get deeper into your presence, into your heart and thoughs.
Whatever things I do, I pray for patience. In my studies, in my ministry,
and in my relationships with family and friends, I pray that God, You'll anoint me.
God, teach me how to pray.

faithful and fruitful

2008-03-04T13:21:00.003+08:00

being

faithful in mammon,
faithful in other people's things,
faithful in _{little little} things.

besides these,

fruitfulness in
spirituality,
studies,
soul-winning,
relationship building,
time,
money.

pray and seek

2007-12-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

Woo~ Life is hard, isn't it? So many things happened over the past few weeks, or few months? Cause I didn't update blog. -.-" Man, spiritual life is just like boat on rushing water, you either move forward or be push back by the rushing river.

Felt so frustrated, everytime a breakthrough is near, things start to pop up.

5th Dec 07, I lost my granny.

During my childhood, my dad was sent to Singapore by his company and my mum worked long hours in China. I was essentially brought up by my grandparents. I would say, my bond with my grandparents might be stronger compared to my parents. Still remember this year around March when they were still in Singapore, she was well back then. Remember the day my grandparents went back, they held me in their arms and shed tears. That moment, I felt so loved. If there is one thing I would regret, it will be that I'm unable to tell my granny that Jesus loves her before her death.

All right, enough of whining. Life goes on, my walk with Christ goes on. Jesus loves me and he loves you too. ^_^

PAISEHZ!!!

2007-10-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

Wah~ went for the first day of my on the job training today. Man, it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not that tired but really a lot of things to learn lohz. Cash and change, SPC card, Visa & MasterCard, DBS debit card, credit card, NETS, voucher, promotion, stock taking, customer relationship, accounts and end of day 1, more to come on day 2... -.-"

But it was quite fun, and satisfying, especially when you smile, the customer smile back, haha. And during the trip back home actually met this bus uncle who actually greet you and say "Good morning" and "Thank you" when you board the bus and pay your bus fare. Somehow, it made my day. Just felt that that uncle really has a good attitude when serving, and that is something I can look upon to.

-.-" something funny happened during the day. When serving the customer instead of saying "Thank you Sir", I said "Thank you lord" -.-" ...So paiseh lohz and I almost laugh out, at there "arhm chio" lohz...but I think the person didn't really hear bahz haha.

-.-"

2007-10-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

Wah~ I think people who committed cyber-crime must have been visiting my blog a lot, then the cyber-spiderman come here catch them...-.-" So many spider webs on my blog worhz, long time didn't update.

Holiday's been great. Really learn a lot during this period of time, and know where am I standing in the walk with Christ as I learned the 7 different types/levels of faith. There's still around 2 weeks of holiday left, whether or not I have a breakthrough during this period will determine my future. This is the time to gear up myself to fight the battle of today that will prepare myself to fight the battle of tomorrow.

Yes! It can be done, It will be done! Not by my power or might, but by Yours. Sorry for the wrong things that I've done, please forgive me and do as you deem fit. I don't want to be in control of myself anymore. Jesus, you take the wheel.

cg photos

2007-09-04T02:28:00.000+08:00

E431 Multiplication ^_^

love love love

2007-08-29T08:53:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		5
Receiving Gifts:		5
Physical Touch:		4

http://www.youthnetsouthampton.org.uk/breakout/lovelanguages.php

renewing

2007-08-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

Past few weeks, I've been renewing myself. Just want to go back and embrace the first love. Sometimes we fight and fight till we've lost the purpose for fighting and leaned on our own strength, selfish motives. He's not looking for someone who has a lot of talents, He's looking for someone who's heart is willing and has a teachable and humble spirit. ^_^

Woo~ who say poly life is easy, IT'S A LIE!!! If you're just aiming to be get a diploma, then poly life is really a breeze man ^^ ...But if you want to be a light that shines, salt that flavours, it'll cost so much more. To study is really pain in the flesh, haha, but it's fun. To impact, it's really a great stretch of the spirit. But when you know the purpose of doing them, they bring joy ^^

Haha, remember a joke told by Guang Xiang. Being optismistic? What do you say when a bird waste land on your head? Thank God that elephants don't fly ^_^ Woo~ I can always brighten up my day with your joke ^^

detest

2007-06-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

MAN!!! I DETEST THE LIFE I'M LIVING NOW!!! It's really not a good feeling to wake up in the morning, having no idea what to do next. It's like wasting my time away. It's really not a good feeling to become more and more lukewarm when last time I'm so on fire. It's really not a good feeling to be unable to get closer to Him, unable to bring down the presence. It's really not a good feeling to always be so slack in my accountability, last minute information. It's really not a good feeling to be unable to make the planned targets come true. I'm sick and tired of this kind of life man..........

Numbers 11:4-6 (NKJV)
4Now the mixed multitude who were among them yielded to intense craving; so the children of Israel also wept and said: "Who will give us meat to eat? 5We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; 6but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!"

Numbers 11:19-20 (NKJV)
19You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, 20but for a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you, because you have despised the LORD who is among you, and have wept before Him saying, "Why did we ever up of Egypt?" ' "

You eat sweets, and over time the taste becomes blunt and disgusting to you. You eat salty delights, and over time your mouth becomes dry. You eat spicy food, and over time you feel disgusted.

Truely, I've been longing for "Egypt", longing for comfort, being passive. Now, I've gotton the comfort, but now it becomes loathsome to me!

I want to bear my cross and walk with Jesus again...

The hollow me......

2007-06-19T02:25:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling hollow inside of me these few days.....What Pastor had preached last Sat is really true.

These few days I've been feeling unsecured, unsure, something missing in my life, hollow inside. Felt the same as the time when I was not in Christ yet. So, a Christian will feel like this also huh? Yes indeed, not the first time feeling like this......I'm human, I've my needs, just like what Pastor said.

Felt like falling, but He lifted me up. I prayed, and I found something I lacked......spirituality, and love. It had been quite sometime since the last time I saught His face, and my spiritman was drained, cannot feel His love for me. I know He loves me, but just like what Kenneth had once said, knowing is one thing, experiencing is another. Christian walk is not a one time experience, it's a life time experience. Will I be able to take up my cross and follow Him till the day I go? I want to, though temptations are great, He is greater.

Lord, let me be made whole as a human, as a man. Indeed, humanity is beautiful and wonderful, let me not lose it and also restore it back to the people.

sex, life and love

2007-06-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

woo~ The SOZO camp was so great! Truely, I don't want to enjoy for a moment and have regrets for the rest of my life......It's sad, to see people out there having multiple sex partners. The effects, we all know, not only the risk of HIV but also physical, mental, emotional wounds. What I felt is very true in the video during the workshop is that be it you believe in God or not, there's a spiritual bonding after intercourse between man and woman. I want to keep myself pure until the day of my marriage, and I expect the same from my future wife......I think I've gone into the future too far -.-"

Anyway, thank God, the drama was good. Though the time given to practice this drama is quite short but thank all the drama people who sacrificed their time and money(practice till late no cab no bus must take cab), especially Cedric, who's always there to guide us.

The Stardom Night really did showcased the talents of GT Zone. But I'm especially impressed by the the strikeforce performance......Woah! The drum set can't be used, so they used something as simple as a chair, a box and a brush, and the effect is IMPRESSIVE!!!

After the Stardom night we went to East Coast for the night. I was assigned to Team 2......and Team 2 came in 2nd, WOOO~~

Haha......though the camp has ended, but I think the camp theme, SOZO is for us to go back individually to reflect upon ourselves. SOZO means 'made whole'. For myself, I pray that I'll not only prosper in the physical realm, but also prosper spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Not only to be healed in my body, but also healed my mind and heart.

Let me be the the 1 out of the 10.

the small little little things

2007-05-24T03:12:00.000+08:00

I took my Circuit Analysis quiz today. I roughly already know how I fared. I flunked the 1st page and did well for the 2nd and 3rd pages. The 1st page is about some basic and minor knowledge of CKT and weighs 15 marks, the 2nd and 3rd pages are the main components and weighs 35 marks. I'm confident that I've gotton 35 marks.

35 marks is not bad, but is not excellent. To be the head and not the tail, 'not bad' is not enough, you got to be 'excellent'. As I have my quiet time and meditate upon the Word, I found that little little things make up big thing.

In the book of Deuteronomy, all the commandments and laws are listed. The laws are specific and detailed and seems minor. But I realised that they ARE important.

Lot is a righteous man, but he has greed, and thus God can use Abraham more than him. God says that Moses is faithful in all his house, but he doubted once and thus cannot enter the promised land. David is a mighty king, yet he fell into lust and murder.
These men are great, they accomplished much, but they did not do well in some small areas of their lives and thus fell short of their highest acheivements, their highest reward on earth. No wonder Pastor Robb Thompson said that there are things Pastor Kong can do which he himself can't!

Mention 'Guan Yu' to the chinese people and most will rever him as an extremely righteous and loyal man and a superb warrior. But he was unable to deal with his pride, and therefore he was delivered to his enemies.

I'll not only do well in the "main components", but also watch over minor areas of my life......

God helps

2007-05-19T02:18:00.000+08:00

A joke was told by my friend during tutorial few days ago.

He said that there is this man, who is a VERY committed Christian. So one day, he encountered a shipwreck and was stranded onto an island. He prayed to God and asked God to save him. A few hours past, a small fishing boat stopped by and offered to bring him back to mainland. The man refused and said "my God will save me". 2 days later, a ship past by and offered to help the man. But the man refused and said "my God will save me". This carried on for a few days and finally, the man died on the island. He went back to heaven and asked God "Lord I've prayed and cried out for You, why didn't you save me?" God replied "I've sent my help to you several times, but you refused to be helped".

The Holy Spirit just touched me and impacted me immdiately. Felt something is not right with me, something which God wants to help but I refused to receive. Got to pray......

catching my breathe

2007-05-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

Wow, past few weeks are truely challenging. To cope with lessons and quizzes. People say poly life is easy, but I found that it's not so true. -.-" Yeah, the timetable is somehow so relaxed, but to really understand the day's lectures and score not only a pass in quizzes and exams, you've really got to do some labour every day. Thank God, somehow, though did not spend much time preparing for my Product description and bio quiz, I somehow is confident that I'll do well.

I've been going back to the spiritual training ground the past few weeks. The Lord just showed me and taught me so many things.

Deuteronomy 7:2
and when the LORD your God delivers them over to you, you shall conquer them and utterly destroy them. You shall make no covenant with them nor show mercy to them.

The reason why God asked His people to utterly destroy their enemies is because if the enemies were kept alive, the Israelites would be lead astray by the captives. Once I thought this is not necessary, but now, I think other wise.
In the past, like any other men, I always have lust problem. I kept on falling and stand up again like a cycle. After I stood up again, I told myself that I'll never fall into Satan's trap anymore, which seldom come to pass. I kept on asking God why am I unable to get out of the vicious cycle, I felt as if I were taking advantage of Jesus' blood, God's love. Then God just spoke to me through this verse that I did not utterly destroy my "enemies". Many people just conquer the sin but neglected the 'utterly destroy' part. Sin problem can only be dealt with when you not only repent and seek forgiveness but also utterly "destroy" the sin, leaving no more space for it.

wat to do when u think u cannot overcome the pressure? shout to Papa ^^

2007-05-11T01:06:00.000+08:00

Woo~Thank God, I'm still enjoying poly life. But pressure already started to build up...About 1 more month before my 1st Term Test. So far I've been doing well for my lectures and tutorials, maybe except for the Effective Comm. and Wrting and Oral Presentation, there's a test next week. So far I've not done any research for the 'product description'...-.-" But anyway, I believe I can finish it up on time, and do it well. I'm already thankful that I don't have to write 900words to describe 2 friends, like what GuangXiang did, lol.
Thank God thank God, I'm able to cope with poly life, pressure is getting greater and greater, but I believe I can do well.

Greater freedom=greater responsibility. I get more freedom now, and my parents expect me to help my brothers more in their school work. Haiz...I'm not 1 who's cut out to become a teacher. I just don't understand why my brothers are so bad academically. Things that are logic to other kids seem to be many "huh?" to them. They took around 4 hours just to finish a topic assignment from their Maths Workbook, and I've to guide them to do 99% of the questions. I feel as if I'm the 1 taking their coming exams...It's stressful, especially I have my own things to take care of. And my parents give me extra pressure. They make me feel as if I'm at fault if they did badly. Well, I've my responsibility to help them in their academic work, but it's hard to have only 1 willing party. SOOOOOO pek ceh...Sorry to all the teachers whom I've made to feel like how i feel now...

So, now, let me take a look at my tutorial mates. Truely the harvest is great but the labourers are few. I've my influence there, but not enough, not yet there to SET the standard. Looking at them, thinking of what Gabriel shared, I felt fainting spells on me, to do this alone. I need to get someone to share the burden with me, fast. No man is a lone ranger, I'm not 1 either. 1 person can bring forth a revival, but cannot maintain a revival. But just feel that something is missing, something is not quite right. I'll need to be careful to watch and guard over my life. Lord give me revelations, about myself, and this new ground.

Father! I shout to you today, help me! I need You to be with me to overcome all these pressures! And teach me what it means to be a "walking Bible", a living testimony, a mobile "church" and a "plaster". That's right, Sermon on the Mount, just the right time and right season, thank God.

Promises of God

2007-05-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Num 12:6-8
6Then He said, "Hear now my words: "If there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, make Myself known to him in a vision; I speak to him in a dream.7Not so with my servant Moses; He is faithful in all My house.8I speak to him face to face......

Empowered by these verses. Because there was a time, when I dreamt of myself, going through all sorts of obstacles and persecution. And finally, I went through them all and found myself sitting under a coconut tree at a certain beach. The water was clear blue and the sand was fine and without rubbish. The contrasting blue colour of the water and the light clay-like colour of the sand relaxed my soul. Then the LORD says "you shall not only drink from the springs, you shall drink from the seas and oceans".

The image is so vivid...I cannot remember the trials that I've gone through, I only remember how relaxed is my soul and His words.

I don't really understand the meaning of this dream, but now I guess I do, though not fully. I felt regretful, that I've treated it as another dream at the beginning.

I will, O LORD, to live out your words. But do reveal to me what I can do for you, and when may I know you face to face?

Beauty of Our Bodies

2007-05-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Went through quite a number of bio lectures by now. Though the new terms and knowlegde are a bit daunting, but nonetheless, the workmanship of of God is simply amazing. How does our fleshy body manage to generate energy like a power plant? Our brain is so small, yet can do so many things, more power and more memory than hundreds of computers. Research shows that humans used only around 1% of their brain capability/potential in their life time! How does 2 cells manage to develop into a baby? How does sperms recognise the ovaries, such that they don't swim to other places? Science is awesome, but indeed it can't explain everything. I want to know more.

Light of the World & Salt of the Earth

2007-05-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

When my candle light goes off, I'll need another candle with flame to relight mine. When I've lost my flavours, I'll need to melt myself in salt water. What will I become if i don't have my friends?

end of chapter and beginner of another - poly life

2007-04-21T01:23:00.000+08:00

Woow~ Poly life is fun man. Can't wait to start school after orientation (y tp start sch so late). The orientation gave me a glimpse of Poly life, and I'm looking forward to experience it. But I don't know if I really will like it because my course has to study three main streams of subjects. Bio-science, IT and Engineering (WAH!!!!!!MATHS AGAIN...i tout after sec sch i should never touch it again...fat hope -.-"), this is already giving me stress as I browse through my books...-.-"

Well, whatever it is, I know that by my strength alone will be tiring and hard and I'll probably give up. But with God on my side, that's a different thing. I still remember that in my secondary years I used to hate maths, till Sec 4, when God placed a very good maths teacher(the only teacher which we dare not arouse) in my life, and miraculously, I began to like maths. Well, I must say, I forced, or rather psyco myself to like maths, along with GuangXiang. And from there onwards, a straight F9 student in maths for Sec 2, 3 and 4(even till 'o' lvl prelims) acheived a C5 in 'O' Level.
Lord give me strength to conquer once again this upsized monstrous mountain. And this time, I shall not just acheive a standard of C5, it'll be of an A1 standard. Amen.

Woo~ anyway, I believe that I have landed in the right course, by the will of God. I was not posted to Biotecnology, neither was I dumped into courses which means somewhat spell doom to me. I'm posted to a course that I like more and more and suits my personality. My course is unique, it is the only course that in Schools Of Engineering in the whole of Singapore that gives you a key for a degree in medicine or dentistry in local university. And its flexible too, you literally can venture into almost all professions with this diploma since you have multiple skill sets. (except for fashion design related ones i suppose...at least i don't see a demand in fashionable medical devices -.-").

Thank God for this course, thank God for the friends you've placed in my class, thank God for your goodness and blessings to come, and thank God for your mercy and grace.

I adore you.

common Psalm, uncommon experience

2007-04-13T02:15:00.000+08:00

PRIASE THE LORD! After months of suffering from "depression" due to my course admission issue, I've finally been freed!!!

Simply amazing! My course, Dip. in Biomedical Informatic & Engineering does not accept individuals with colour blindness, not even partial ones. And yes, I break the custom. The course manager called me and asked if I'm able to differentiate the traffic lights(i wish i had answer him that i've never been knock down by a car so far) and confirmed with me if I really want to enter into this course even though there might be some disadvantage for me.

It's amazing, because in my midst of uncertainty, I spoke a word of faith, that if God has give me salvation, what is there that He'll not give me? Let me be the first colour blind person to enter into this course. I trusted God for this course, even though my faith was of maybe smaller size than a mustard seed. And I know that I moved not the hearts of men, but hands of God.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

A common chapter that many people like to quote from Psalm. But like what Kenneth has always like to say, that knowing is one thing and experiencing is another. I've experienced it(maybe not the part of going through valley of shadow of death), and I'll continue to be in His embrace.

When I look back, truely the problem once so big to me has become almost nothing to me. The problem is the same, it's I who have grow much bigger, and indeed, as i grow, He just seems to be even greater than before......

just i started to move on...

2007-04-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

Extract from 'The Chronicles of Narnia' by C. S. Lewis
Volume 4, 'Prince Caspian' (page 155)

"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."

"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.

"Not because you are?"

"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

well, wat can i say...indeed...as i depended on my emotions these few weeks, finally i was awaken by His miracle he has done for me...
as i realised my mistake, as i learn from it,as i learn to trust him, i feel his love more tangibly, i find him more majestic, more magnificent...and truely, we can never give more than him and never do for him more than what he can and did for us.

he's there

2007-04-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

hmm...so, He is with me after all...roller coaster is exciting, but not fun...peace within...

exhausted...

2007-04-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

life's unfair...a blind and deaf girl was given chance to enter university, a musician who was deaf still was able to compose music that is a classic till these day, those who lost thier hand can paint with their mouth and feet, den y a person who is partially colour blind restricted to so many courses...my interest, my ambition, was crushed...i don't blame God, i don't blame my mum who is a carrier of colour blindness gene, neither can i blame myself...i just felt indignant within...each time Lord, u lifted me up with hope, but each time a moment later i plunged into valley again...Lord, would you lift me up once and for all?

so used to smiling in front of people that i forgot how to express my real self, only in Your presence and when i'm alone am i able to pour out...bear with me, you said every tear i shed, is precious in your eyes....now, what more must i do to move an inch of ur hand?

whatever it is, i still choose to trust in you, salvation you've given me, what more is there you'll not give me? i still have faith, give me some time to compose myself...at least, let me hide under ur wings and give me rest for a while...

your uniqueness, your x-factor, your attraction...

2007-03-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

yesterday's fun, went for emerge sports...wanted to play basketball actually, but kenneth, guangxiang, xianbi, benjamin and i are all from different tertiary....well, we're disqualified...but anyway, kenneth found a team for basketball and captain's ball on that day, and i found a captain's ball team which still has vacancy...

kinda sad and surprised to see how some of the brothers act and behave on that day...some speaked vulgarities, others knocked the sisters and didn't even bother to say sorry....and treated opponents with no respect...and quite a number of them are from universities....whoo~, such high education they've got indeed...how sad, to see that they're just converts, not disciples...not trying to condemn, but just feel indignant....i choose to believe that they're just young in Christ...

anyway, i saw myself in them before i accepted Christ...vulgarities, insecurity, pride, insensitive...nowadays guys are so "girl minded", as in putting beautiful ladies before anything...think too much of girls...i'm one of them before accepting Christ...in order to gain favour of a pretty girl, jeopardised friendship, ppl around...act cool, act "man", and sometimes demean others just to make yourself stand up...

in front of girls, of course i want to bring out the best in me, but i'll not try to bring out what i can't be...i just can't be as cool as jay chou and i can't just be as cute as rain...but i have something which they don't have, everyone is unique, bring out the uniqueness in you and not imitate other's...thank God for moulding me, into the better...and i pray that you'll transform those ppl too...

captain's ball is fun anyway...ken lose in his basketball match but won the captain's ball match against my team...well, i as somehow the highest in team, being a defender, defending the catcher who is almost twice as high as me standing on a chair....of course kenneth's team win -.-"
argh...anyway, next year gonna come again, with my own team from tp, finding the highest i could possibly find....

pretty women, handsome men

2007-03-23T00:03:00.000+08:00

wooo~ today's fun...went for the emerge manhunt...din really wanted to go...it all started by Kenneth, whom pull all the brothers, as long as 170cm n above in E431 to join...Benjamin withdraw and Guang Xiang din make it in time...left Kenneth and me...

the process and experience is fun though, got to see the sisters in thier nice outfit and brothers the tightest shirt ever...chatted with Jo and Jasmine before we went in...Jo looks stunning with her new look man...Kenneth did great, and they say i did great too...but actually my mind was quite blank, and i did shiver a bit, maybe too focus on the drama acting till i can hide my nervousness...i've not done any preparation, was "hugging buddha's leg" while it's Kenneth's turn...all thanks to Kenneth's singlet, that i was able to get something out of my mouth...anyway, whatever is the outcome, We may not be the best, but we definitely will give our best shot...this is something i've learned in emerge 07...there'll surely be people who are better than me, but all i want to is to do my best and shine for Jesus...

i was impacted by Kenneth on my way back...he shared something on wife...truely many guys think about gals too much that they lose focus...even when they're attached, they're still thinking abt gals, addicted...what good it is for a woman to love someone who doesn't know how to focus, dunno how to focus his love for her...i long for a faithful, lovely future wife, and so, gonna get focus now...

hey, i'm still alive

2007-03-22T01:39:00.000+08:00

woo~ suddenly this blog come to my rememberance after dunno how many months le...

past few months so many things happen...they're exciting, but daunting at the same time...the process of enrolment in higher education after 'o' lvl stressed me out man......1st i was being posted in to Millennia Institute...well, i don't mind doing 'a' lvl but the distance between my house and MI is so so so so farrrrrr from pasir ris to bukit batok........3 days of orientation waked up at 5am, leave by 5.30am and just sit in train and watch my butt grow fungi for 2 hrs...

anyway, the orientation camp was quite ok...met many new frens...though in the end i appealed into poly, i don't regret spending 3 whole days in MI...it's there where i realise the great change in me now compared to last time...i learned to smile, and ppl just start coming to me and we exchanged no. and fellowship...thank God for the moulding, thank God for the glory that he released in me...few months after being Christian i started experimenting with smiles and till now i noe that it works wonders...

thank God, i appealed into temasek poly, biomedical informatics and engineering, sooooo happy that i called yong xiu at once....but well, received the enrolment package on tuesday and realise that my course DOES NOT EVEN ACCEPT PARTIAL COLOUR BLIND STUDENTS!!!!!! my heart dropped...but well, like wat Shi Min (N266) shared....i'll not only make a room in my heart, but give my whole heart to the Lord....let me be the 1st partial colour blind person to enter into this course...

the conditions are not favourable to me, but since He has given me salvation, is there anything that he'll not give me?

Frustrated....

2006-12-21T19:38:00.000+08:00

Went to watch movie, Huang Jin Jia with KaiSheng, JunLiang and Irshaad...On the way back I kanna "fang fei ji" by KS and JL...They want to work, so I introduced them to my manager and they agreed to terms and will start working this coming firday...but now they tell me that they've found another work.....felt like bashing them...well, they were introduced by me, how am I going to face my superiors....Zzz....

Anyway, whatever it is, still, praise the Lord. Now I know the feeling of being "pang sehz"....which I did quite a lot to my Father...Sorry Lord that I've made you feel the way I'm feeling right now and thank you, for being so patient with me and forgiving me everytime without fail....I shall forgive them too...